


faithful companion by our side

by SnailArmy



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Pets, in a VERY literal sense, nastya agent of chaos and personal growth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:16:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27341092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnailArmy/pseuds/SnailArmy
Summary: Nastya gets Jonny a dog. It goes about as well as you'd expecttitle from Corsican Mastiff Stride by the Mountain Goats because of course it is
Relationships: Jonny d'Ville & Nastya Rasputina
Comments: 5
Kudos: 61





	faithful companion by our side

**Author's Note:**

> warning for brief mentions of alcohol and some canon-typical gun violence! (no animals are harmed, only tim)  
> this has been sitting in my drafts forever so i'm finally just going to give up and post it as-is because i think it's worth reading

It had started out innocently enough, Jonny recalls. 

Nastya had made some joke about her... _relationship_ with the ship. Jonny had told her, in no uncertain terms, how he felt about all that. 

It was, after all, _his_ ship. He had won it, fair and square. For it to turn on him and start doing _that_ , and with _Nastya_... Well. It wasn't something a captain should have to deal with, is all. 

However it started, it had gotten out of hand far too quickly. 

"You're just jealous that I can maintain a healthy romantic relationship with another living being," Nastya jabbed, before throwing back yet another shot of whatever cheap liquor Ashes had picked up in bulk on their most recent supply run. 

"Am not," Jonny replied sullenly, sipping on a glass filled with what he insisted was whisky. In reality, it was the same thing Nastya was drinking, but with brown food coloring added. It saved Ashes time and energy, and they figured he had too much pride to complain about the taste. They were right. 

Nastya considered this for a moment. "Then you are either jealous that Aurora loves me more than she loves you, or you are jealous that I love Aurora more than I love you." 

"Why do I have to be jealous?!"

This time, it was Tim who replied. "That's a good point. I'm pretty sure the only emotions Jonny can feel are anger, maniacal glee, and bloodlust. And combinations of those three."

Jonny's hand reached threateningly for his gun. "Are you complaining?"

"No, not at all." Tim took a very calm sip of his own beverage, which was earl grey in a margarita glass. "I'm just trying to say that I don't think you're jealous, and in fact that you aren't capable of jealousy. Or any other emotions, for that matter." 

With a sudden gunshot, Tim's drink shattered on the floor, alongside his (temporarily) dead body. 

"Anyone else?" Brain raised a tentative hand. Jonny pointed the gun at him. He lowered his hand. "Good." 

"The point _is,_ " Nastya continued, unfazed, "that you have some unresolved emotional issues."

" _Some??_ " came Tim's voice from the floor, before Jonny emptied the rest of the magazine into him. 

"The next person to bring up my 'emotional issues' is getting an octokitten in their underwear drawer," Jonny growled, pouring himself another glass of alcohol before taking a swig directly from the bottle. 

Nastya went quiet after that, even as the conversation moved to betting on who would be the next to activate Aurora's fire-suppression system. Ashes was the clear favorite, with a few takers for Raphaella, though Brian insisted that it would be Marius, in the kitchen, with a doomed attempt at baking. 

\--

By the time Nastya showed up at his door, months later, with a squirming bundle in her hands, Jonny had entirely forgotten about the events of that night. He stared at her in bewilderment as she handed it to him. 

"I have found a solution to your emotional unavailability. You're upset that I have someone else in my life, and it's causing you to lash out at the others. The obvious solution is to find a new target for your misplaced protective instincts."

Jonny looked down at what Nastya had handed him. At first, all he could see was a pile of thick white fur. As it adjusted itself, he could make out floppy ears, a snout, and a curled tail, all covered in soft fluff. 

"You got me a dog."

"Yes."

"Because you think that I... miss you?"

"Something like that, yes." 

"You're trying to replace yourself. With a dog." 

Nastya sighed. "If you must put it like that, then yes. Aurora and I agreed that this would be the best way to placate you until you come to terms with to our situation." 

"Placate me? Nastya, I'm not some _child-_ " His rant was interrupted as he jostled the bundle in his arms, causing the puppy to fully wake up. It began barking and flailing its legs around, trying to find purchase against Jonny's arms and torso. 

Over the cloud of white fur blocking his vision as the puppy began licking at his face, Jonny could just barely see Nastya's small smile as she began to walk away. "Have fun, Jonny." 

A few hours after that, Nastya received a text message.

`Worst Mate: nastya i hate you so much  
Worst Mate: nastya please i don't know how to take care of a dog  
Worst Mate: nastya help it's eating all my belts  
Enginerd: can't believe the dog has better fashion sense than you  
Worst Mate: nastya this isn't funny`

Nastya disagreed. She was watching the whole thing, with the help of Aurora's security cameras, and enjoying herself immensely. The dog was extremely excited to be here, running around and chewing on anything it could find (which was mostly belts). Jonny seemed significantly less excited, chasing it around and shouting at it. Nastya remembered how he used to chase her around and shout at her. Yes, they would get along just fine. 

Several hours after _that,_ Nastya got another text. 

`Worst Mate: i still hate you nastya`

Curiosity piqued, Nastya checked the video feed again. Jonny was sitting on the floor in what looked to be a very uncomfortable position, with a white ball of fluff nestled in his lap. Her phone buzzed again. 

`Worst Mate: does the dog have a name?   
Worst Mate: it's just a baby and i don't want to be a bad influence so i can't use any of my usual nicknames  
Enginerd: idk i just called it cамое́д  
Worst Mate: i'm going to ask tim for help. he's good with names, right?`

A few minutes passed. 

`Worst Mate: i'm never asking tim for help again.  
Enginerd: that bad huh  
Worst Mate: he said i should call it windowsill  
Enginerd: oof  
Worst Mate: it's ok though  
Worst Mate: i found a list of "evil baby names" on the internet  
Worst Mate: wait why the fuck is tim on this list  
Worst Mate: and jonny isn't????  
Worst Mate: i call bullshit i'm finding a different list`

`Worst Mate: im naming this dog Horse and there's nothing you can do about it`

Unsurprisingly, Jonny didn't stick around for dinner that night; just grabbed two plates worth of food and dashed back to his room. Brian gave Nastya a look of concern, but she just smiled and gave him a hand gesture that signaled _don't worry about it_. This did not seem to reassure him, but he did not press the matter further. 

And when Marius came to her after dinner, asking in a hushed voice about the weird noises he heard from Jonny's cabin, it was all she could do to keep a straight (hah) face. "No, Marius, I have no idea what's going on. Maybe you should go check on him."

Marius' shouts of joy when he took her advice were audible throughout the spaceship, and soon the entire crew had gathered to see what the commotion was about. 

"Ohmygod a _pubby_ it's so cute Jonny how could you keep this from us??" The not-baron gushed, kneeling on the floor to give the dog full access to his face for puppy kisses. 

Jonny just stood in the doorway, frowning, arms crossed. 

"Where in space did you get a dog?" This question from Ashes, crouched beside Marius, petting Horse with calm, measured strokes. 

"I didn't. Blame Nastya." 

"That explains a lot," Ivy chirped from the back. "It's a samoyed, a Cyberian working breed that was popularized in other systems for its friendly and playful disposition."

Jonny looked again at the puppy, who was nearly mauling Marius in its excitement. That sounded about right.


End file.
